I'm Afraid To Love

I'm 20 years old, and I've never actually been in a 'real' relationship, until this year. I thought when me and my significant other met that it would be like every other relationship I have ever attempted. I was SO WRONG. I fell hard and fast, and I'm still falling harder every day. A few months into it, I tried to get away. I thought that if I was mean to him, he would break up with me and there would be nothing I could do to change it. That was always my approach. It made me feel as if I wasn't really afraid to love. If the other person ended the relationship, I could make myself believe that it just wasn't meant to be. We did in fact break up, but it didn't last. It was the most horrible two weeks of my life, and that's an understatement. I was so mad at myself for allowing a man to make me have feelings, but I couldn't stop them. We worked out our differences and have been a happy couple ever since. BUT--only recently did he drop the "L" bomb on me. I decided at the time that he deserved to know my true feelings, and I told him that I was in love with him. Now I'm terrified again. All I think is 'what if?' I compare every relationship to my mother and father's, and I know that's wrong, but how do I become un-afraid? I want to give him all of me, but I can't do that until I can fully let go of fear. Help me girls!