Once is Enough: Detecting and Avoiding a Cheater

A husband. A boyfriend. A significant other.


Nothing beats a woman's trust than being cheated. In every relationship, every woman is the key to make the relationship last and survive any trial that comes along the way. But when a woman can no longer repair the damages brought about by man's infidelity, then it's time to move one.


I've experienced a cheater in my life. It was difficult to handle such a situation when you wanted to trust that person so much. There were times when I needed someone for help or to just be there for me, like when I had my thesis defense. My boyfriend was not there because he said he had a soccer game outside of town when in reality, he was just bumming around with friends with a couple of college girls.

The first thing that women should do is to get rid off of boys who have very low self-esteem. I read in an article that a guy actually cheats because he feels that his ego is being stepped on when the lady is more successful in terms of academic or career life. Guys feel they have the power to control women's emotion, thus they do it in the most destructive way possible – and that is through cheating.

Second, women should also avoid guys who already have the history of cheating - having women after women as often as they change their clothes. I remembered one time, when my Mom was working on her dissertation for her PhD, she met a guy in her class. He was known for being a Casanova but my Mom “felt” the guy would change for her. Old habits don't die. So don't expect you can change someone overnight or over a PhD class.

Finally, on your part, never embarrass a guy through your constant nags. Nagging is one of the primary reasons why husband and wife lead to separation or divorce. And as a girlfriend, we do not have any right to tell the guy that we love what to do and what not to do, especially in front of his friends and family. When you nag or embarrass your partner, his tendency would resort to revenge and trigger your emotions through cheating.

As a woman, we give access to guys who may nurture our feelings or tear us down into pieces. But when cheating begins, let us think about our actions before we blame them. And once we determine that their negative actions resulted from their own insecurities, it's about time to end the line and truly say that once is enough.