to love or to be loved?

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Permalink Reply by Helen on April 16, 2008 at 10:28am

Both are important... But you cannot feel that you are loved if you don't love... To love someone is the greatest happiness that you can feel:)

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Permalink Reply by GlamourGirl on April 16, 2008 at 3:16pm

I want my guy to love me more than I love him.

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Permalink Reply by Barbara Siragusa on April 16, 2008 at 9:40pm

I have to say that up till this relationship, I feel I have given much more than received. This time though, my partner is definetely very loving and I have to say I really like it! I think on the emotion side, I am high maintenance, so this is great for me.

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Permalink Reply by GlamourGirl on April 17, 2008 at 3:25pm

it feels like heaven when you know that a guy loves you with all his life.

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Permalink Reply by Oksana on April 19, 2008 at 9:25pm

I think that a man should love a woman more. It's the nature of human beings, women are meant to be loved, that's why we are more beautiful:) I think that men and women have different feelings in relationships...

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Permalink Reply by Barbara Siragusa on April 21, 2008 at 1:01am

I know that my husband loves me more than anything in the world, and would give up his life for me. Not that he would have to, but to know that is a wonderful feeling.

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Permalink Reply by Shoreen on April 21, 2008 at 7:11pm

I have been dating a guy for just over 3.5 years, and have also been working for him at his place of business getting it organized, and known etc for sales of his new item.

I was working elsewhere when we first started dating, and then he asked me to work with him and help him get it his business going. He said the job I had wasn't paying my bills and he helped me out by asking me to work for him. I have set him up and made his business look good. It was just starting and disorganized and only a few months old when I met him and he had people working for him that did not have his best interests at heart.

I was married for 20 years and have 3 daughters. Marriage finally broke up due to my x being abusive.

The guy I'm dating was married 2x, kids from both. First one lasted a year, they 'had' to get married and they were too young - 18 yrs. old.
Second one lasted 10 years. She left him one day w her 2 kids. He lived w others off and on after that.

He has mentioned 'living together' and marriage. Christmas and my birthday went by, and no engagement ring. I am tired of waiting around.
He blames the fact that my daughter lives w me. She doesn't like him.
My other two don't like him either.

Any advice?

thanks.

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Permalink Reply by Barbara Siragusa on April 21, 2008 at 8:37pm

Sorry doesn't sound very good to me. He "blames" the fact that your daughter lives with you for not marrying you yet? Then he really doesn't care about your family, and it can only get worse if you marry him and he makes any demands about you not seeing your family etc. See, I have been there. My ex was even sweeter about things, before marriage trying so hard for me to keep a good relationship with my children, but things changed and he never wanted them around after we married.

You also say none of your children like him. There must be a good reason they don't, unless they wouldn't like anyone because they want you back with their father,

Trust your instincts. Sorry to ask, but do you think he just likes it the way it is with you, working for him and having you around when he wants??

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Permalink Reply by Oksana on April 21, 2008 at 9:16pm

I agree with Barbara and think that children are just an excuse...
It's very bad that he doesn't want you to live with your daughter.
Listen to your heart...

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Permalink Reply by GlamourGirl on April 22, 2008 at 3:49am

If he loves you that much, he should love and accept your family too. What do your children tell you about him?

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Permalink Reply by Shoreen on April 22, 2008 at 4:27am

My children tell me he is very opinionated and controlling.
It's hard to have a discussion with him about something if he has a certain belief or opinion about something and it is different than mine or my daughter's. At times it has ended up being a confrontation about the subject rather than a normal discussion. it is uncomfortable to discuss some subjects with him as a result.

They say also that we do not match physically. I know that looks are not everything, but some people have thought he was my father. He is also now quite over weight which is a turn off for me. He keeps saying he is going to lose the weight and tries to eat right and exercise etc. but I see him as lazy as he likes to watch TV and sit in restaurants and bars and 'socialize' (hear himself talk mostly I guess, and try to impress people) for entertainment.

Question, how do you tell your partner that their weight is an issue with you?

thank you for the replies. Appreciated much.

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Permalink Reply by Shoreen on April 22, 2008 at 12:27am

My daughter who is going to be 19 this summer, told me that she would never live with the guy I am dating. She said she couldn't be around him because he is so opinionated and controlling, is the type of person who knows about everything under the sun and is usually always right. They had a 'discussion' 2 years ago to get to know each other as they have a common interest in astronomy and it didn't turn out well, as he got rather defensive with her and spoke aggressively when he thought she was asking him questions to attack him, which she wasn't. That pretty much turned her off.
My other two daughters live with their mates. They don't like him either after working here with me a bit at times, and see him as controlling and a know it all. He balled out one of them at the workplace one time because she snapped at me for something. He did it in my absence when I asked him to confront her when I arrived back. He was annoyed that she spoke to me the way she did, especially in his place of business. They told me that he was aggressive in his manner and nearly had the oldest one in tears (26 now, this was 2 yrs ago) as she is sensitive.
He said he doesn't like the way my daughters talk to me and use me and treat me with disrespect. Yet he has had hissy fits on me himself many times. He does it, and then sucks up to me afterwards, after I leave the situation and go home. He says it's just his knee jerk reaction and that it is over with soon after for him. (it's not for me though, as it leaves me upset). It is mainly over stupid things where the reaction I get is not warranted. We have had plenty of fights over my kids. He says his kids were never that way with him and always treated him with respect, as if they are perfect or something.
The one living with me was angry at me for spending so much time away from her when I first started dating. She treated me with disrespect then at age 15, so I justified not being around her so much. He concurred with me that if she treats me that way, why would I want to be around her. It got to the point where I kicked her out for a few weeks, to her father's. She cried on the phone to come home. I let her. She told me recently, she thought I hated her then. I told her I didn't and just wanted some respect and help around the house.
They do not want me to go back with their father. Not after things were the way they were. They have recently told me they just want me to be happy and think I can do better.

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