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BF has serious attitude/ego problem
I think my boyfriend is being really pissy over something I didn't think was a big deal. We were talking the other day about sports we no longer take part in but used to enjoy and I mentioned that I used to do judo in college and was pretty good, even though i only received a beginner's yellow belt.
He thought this was hilarious because I'm tall and blond and weigh around 125lbs, and I guess he didn't think that a pretty girl could fight her way out of a paper bag, much less do a martial art.
So when he got done laughing at me (he really was laughing) I challenged him to a wrestling match. Long story short, I used some timely leg sweeps and wrist throws to send him to the floor a few times, and after a while he got so tired that his strength advantage was gone, and I was able to pin him.
Well, I figured he would have learned his lesson, but he's totally bent out of shape about it...he's been pouty and obnoxious ever since the match and keeps challenging me to a rematch, saying I got lucky, and that he wasn't trying hard...all this stuff to protect his macho ego.
So what do I do? Give him a rematch and let him win? (He would totally rub it in my face and say things like "I told you women can't fight"). Or agree to a rematch and try my best again, risking another blow to his ego if he loses? Or just refuse and tell him to deal with it? (I've tried that last option and he just won't let it go). What would you do? Any help appreciated.
He thought this was hilarious because I'm tall and blond and weigh around 125lbs, and I guess he didn't think that a pretty girl could fight her way out of a paper bag, much less do a martial art.
So when he got done laughing at me (he really was laughing) I challenged him to a wrestling match. Long story short, I used some timely leg sweeps and wrist throws to send him to the floor a few times, and after a while he got so tired that his strength advantage was gone, and I was able to pin him.
Well, I figured he would have learned his lesson, but he's totally bent out of shape about it...he's been pouty and obnoxious ever since the match and keeps challenging me to a rematch, saying I got lucky, and that he wasn't trying hard...all this stuff to protect his macho ego.
So what do I do? Give him a rematch and let him win? (He would totally rub it in my face and say things like "I told you women can't fight"). Or agree to a rematch and try my best again, risking another blow to his ego if he loses? Or just refuse and tell him to deal with it? (I've tried that last option and he just won't let it go). What would you do? Any help appreciated.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ice on -
Yeah, it's not your fault. I guess that's the nature of many men. I agree with Oksana, dont do another rematch. =)
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Permalink Reply by jennie on -
Thanks to you both...I have tried soooo hard to explain to him how judo works and allows a weaker person to beat a stronger one but he doesnt get it (or refuses to). He's too cuaght up w/me being a girl & defeating him that he can't see reason.
I refuse to wrestle him and he just gets angry accusing me of "resting on my victories, which were all luck". He's so insecure about losing to me. I don't know if our relationship can survive this, and even if i let him beat me now, he'll know i;m faking it. Just seems all I can do is wrestle him & hope he finally gets it that my martial arts skills will beat his strength every time.
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Permalink Reply by Helen on -
I don't think you should fight with him anymore. That is useless. Try to talk to him, take him to your judo classes, show him that other people do the same - and he can do that as well if he has that skills.
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Permalink Reply by jennie on
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I wish he would go to classes w/me...he refuses....says he doesn't need to know judo to beat a girl.
Plus, I want to start taking classes again and move up a belt level, but if I say I want to do that he will freak.
I'm not sure this relationship has a future if he's not going to let this go!
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Permalink Reply by Helen on
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These actions makes me think that you are not so imp for him. If he really cares - he will be able to change his mind. Maybe you should tell him that if he continue treat you like that - you relationships will end?
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Permalink Reply by Ice on
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Why is it a big deal with him? If he loves you, he should be proud of you. That's only judo and he is acting like that. Do you really love this guy?
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Permalink Reply by Oksana on -
He's like a big baby... Though a lot of guys are the same, they always want to be superior...
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Permalink Reply by jennie on
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Ugh. If all guys are like this, then i'm really in trouble! ;-)
I mean, we used to have a lot of fun b4 this wrestling thing got him all pissy....but what if I meet another guy & he ALSO can't deal w/a girl who has martial arts skills??Do I just have to play the weak female to get a good guy??
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Permalink Reply by Helen on
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You should be real - never play games in relationships!!! It won't work! Be yourself - and be open, be ready to understand -and you will find the right guy for you! That is for sure! But BE REAL!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Oksana on
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No, not all guys. I was talking about some guys...
There are guys that can accept that a girl can be better in some areas, and by the way there are guys that take judo classes and can win the fight:)
You should do what you want to do there always will be people that will love you the way you are.
Dr. Seuss once said: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"
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